New Beginnings

Today I took the leap and decided to not only start my whole website from scratch but make a visible effort to actually blog. Blogging has been something I've been wanting to put my all into for a while now but I've been in a rut and just never really actually did it. Lately I haven't been photographing or writing or painting or really doing much of anything artistic. For me I've been struggling with who I am and what I want. I guess the fact that I'm 2 years away from turning 30 has had me in this mood, of feeling like I'm a failure and haven't accomplished the things I want to. I decided that for me a 9-5 just isn't for me it's not what I want to be doing with my life, sitting at a desk or behind a cash register being miserable just isn't ME. Since I was a little girl art has always been important, been who I am, what I love, what makes me happy (besides my family and fluffs obviously). Those who have art in their hearts and souls know what I mean when I say that without it I'm just not me! A few months ago I stopped photographing, stopped pretty much doing what makes me me. I was put in a situation financially that required me to take on a 9-5 that had me working weekends and a pretty crappy schedule and I was so overwhelmed that I just stopped being myself and doing the things that made me happy because all I could focus on was work, my relationship, my family and my crippling anxiety and depression was just getting the best of me. Let's just say that my anxiety from a scale from 1-10 was at 100 I was having multiple anxiety attacks a day, having them when I was driving even, waking up in panic every night. Wasn't sleeping right started eating super unhealthy gained tons of weight and was so miserable. So I decided that I couldn't do it anymore! About 3 months ago I decided to move to the country and start over decided I wanted to go back to school and decided that art was going to be back in my life. For me photography has never and will never be about the money, it's always been about creating, capturing moments in people's lives, expressing my style and my passion through others who share that similar passion I think is beyond amazing and makes me so happy! Also reading, reading is something I love so much and stopped doing for a long time and decided I was going to make sure I read as often as I could. My bf for Christmas last year got me a Giftcard to barns and nobles because he knows I love the smell and feel of an actual book. So I went a little crazy and bought a bunch of books and some vinyls as well which are my other addiction lol and made sure to read and read and read some more since it was time to put that Giftcard to use. It's been nice living in the country, its given me the chance to think and feel and just live in the moment more and slow down. On top of that I love thrifting and love antique shops and love finding vinyls I don't have in my collection (which is huge) I also love vintage clothing and just furniture and everything so if I find something kewl I love picking it up. I actually found a chicken from the 40s you put sugar in for 5$ in perfect condition and have found vintage vinyls for $1!!! But anyways before I loose track again, I've decided that I will start blogging more and creating more. I want to get back to the things I love doing and that make me the person I am. I think it's important to do what you love and when you do make sure your heart and soul are completely invested in it. Art is something that has me in its beautiful grips and that I give my heart and soul to. Life is short and we should do the things that make us happy. Do it for ourselves, be who we are unapologetically. At the end of the day our passions make us who we are they drive us.